Land of the Free Home of the Brave.

Happy Independence Day , America!!!  Thanks to all those that have sacrificed their lives... those that served and are still serving, THANK YOU!!!!  I have thought several times today how fortunate I am that I live in America.  I am free to  come and go from here. I'm free.

And... on that note...  

I am leaving tomorrow!  I will see you very soon, Hola!!!  

Life goes on....

 

My stepsister Susie passed away Sunday. Shes not sick and hurting any more. She's with my Dad and Jesus.

I’m feeling so sad and very tired. Overwhelmed by all the things that me and my family members have to face over the next 4 weeks. I’m very worried about my step-Mom. I feel so sad for Susies husband and sons too. :( I’m not feeling especially eager to do much of anything this week or the next few weeks …but… I’ve made commitments to people that I have to keep and I’ve many tasks I need to take care of for myself too. I just want undisturbed sleep, non-stop for a few days. I won’t. I can’t. But I want to.

"Ain't no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too"

I see today that my Visa application has made some progress. It has finished what it needed to do for Ghana and is now on its way for Togo to do its thing. I should be excited and happy about this progress but I’m too tired right now.

I am praying now and will be often that God will guide and invigorate me as I finish up the last of the details before I leave for the trip. Today, right now... I have no want or will to do anything but I know God will help me. (1 more shot, visa, plane arrangements to/from the group rendezvous site, gathering and packing my clothes, supplies and gifts, getting my house in order and my dog stuffed into my suitcase. )

I'm praying that God will open my eyes, ears, mind and heart to Him in a special way during this grieving period and while on the trip.

I'm praying for my fellow trip members, that they too will be open to all that the Lord wants to do in and through them during the trip and that we all become great friends.

I'm praying that God will use me as an ambassador for Christ (thats so cool. :) ) - that I represent Him well as I interact with the children, Compassion staff, my fellow travelers and anyone else God brings across my path during the tour.

just a few weeks away.....

I’m only 4 weeks away from going to see Hola!

 Yes, we made the goal! All the money was raised by the week of Christmas! I have my passport my vaccinations, oral meds needed and Visa applications sent in.

To raise the money, I baked a zillion cookies and pepperoni bread, sold popcorn, begged (gofundme.com) and borrowed, (did not steal ;)) used some bonus money from work and received a discount for being a Compassion Advocate. So many people donated with no strings attached… they just gave from their heart and said “Here, Angie….. take this and go!”…and from some very unexpected people...they just showed up with giant hearts for me and Hola. In all my life I’ve never known so much willingness to give and love likes this.

Once it was completely paid for I dove right in to preparing for the trip. I have scoured Amazon and stores for the correct clothes, shoes and accessories to take for me and Hola. I've made a zillion shopping trips to find things like universal plug adapters and…now I have enough sunscreen, bug spray w/deet, Band-Aids, antiseptics’ and trail mix packed for probably Hola’s entire village. I've about 6 inches of paperwork completed, I've studied the country and culture, google-earthed the locations and airports, read tons of blogs about the dos and don’ts of international travel and mission trips. I jumped through all the hoops for my visa and passport, learned about first aid, every type of luggage, over the shoulder holder, backpack and how much each can weigh before weighing too much. I've learned about TSA, TRAVISA, Embassies and Consulates. I've bought self-studies for French & watched youtubes of the Ewe language. I’ve been educated on Malaria, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, Hepatitis, Schistosomiasis and umpteen vaccination’s and medicines to prevent getting it. And this is just what I remember off the top of my head…….

The last time I blogged was in October 2013. I've wanted to write more but a lot has been going on. My mom became very ill and my life shifted dramatically. For a time I was her 24/7 caregiver in my home but then in March she moved to a long term Rehabilitation Center. There were moments when I questioned if I was supposed to still go to see Hola and every single time I asked, without a doubt in my heart or mind, I knew then and still know, I am to go.

After working through the changes with my mom and our daily lives, more changes and grief were to come for me and my family…. February my dad passed away. :( With his passing, I was given more unexpected responsibility’s added to my plate but still, in all of this, I know I am to continue on my way to Hola. I've had to depend on God so much to help me with my broken heart and give me the courage to keep moving forward.

One of the most intimidating part of all of it so far has been getting the Visa’s. There’s so much at stake. I would have applied sooner but for whatever reason, my health insurance wouldn't let me get the Yellow Fever shot until I was 6 weeks away from the trip yet I was supposed to apply for the VISAs 8 to 6 weeks prior to the trip but needed the yellow fever vaccination to do it. Ahhh! If I didn't get the applications right, there’s no extra time or money to re-do them. I’m biting my nails to the quick until I have them finally in my hand!

I haven’t gotten a letter from Hola saying that she knows I’m coming. I sent her a letter in December letting her know I'm going there, which means she might not have even received that until Feb/March and if she writes back to acknowledge I’m coming; I might not see that letter until this month some time. I have been reassured by a couple of people from Compassion that she most likely knows and to not be surprised to find that she (and the other kids) have planned a nice welcome for all of us.

Anyway, for anybody planning a trip such as this and looking for info, I’m going to post my list of supplies that I’m taking. I don’t know if it’s too much or not enough. I’ll let you know when I return. ;)

(None of it is listed in any particular order. C = carry-on bag. S = still needed. So much stuff on carry on in case they lose my luggage)

Journal C
Bible C
Passport C
Visas C
Money (small bills) C
Nook C
Cell Phone/Calling Cards S
Camera/Batteries C
Chargers for all devices C
Universal Plug adapter C
Address labels and stamps for everybody’s postcards 
A couple ZipLock Bags
Instant coffee/Cream
Propel/Crystal Light
Granola Bars/Trail Mix/Dried Fruit/Candy C
Bandaids (large& small)
Triple Antibiotic Ointment
Ibprophen
Rain Poncho C
5 T-shirts 1C
5 Capri’s 1C
5Maxi skirts 1C
Underwear/Socks 1C
PJ’s
Bandana/Hat
Sandals C
Walking shoes
Sunglasses C
Toothpaste/Toothbrush/ Breathe Freshener C
Sunscreen 30 C
Makeup C
Shampoo/Conditioner 1C
Bug Spray – DEET 30%  C
Bug spray wipes C

Prescription Meds: Prior: Typhoid 4 doses 2 weeks before leaving, Mefloquine 1 tablet weekly 2 weeks before I leave, during travel and 4 weeks after travel, As needed: Ciprofloxacin tabs, Pepto Bismal and Anti-diarrheal meds, BC, Unisom, Dramamine, Vitamins (D, B12, Iron) - ALLC

Body Wash/Soap 1C
Hand sanitizer 1C
Baby Powder
Shower shoes
Snacks (peanuts, cheese, crack packets, energy bars, pepperoni) 1/2C
Bottled water C/after I get through the gate
Toilet Paper 1C
Baby wipes
Towel and washcloth
Plastic bag for dirty laundry
Hanger and clothespins to hang up clothes that you need to wash
Tweezers
Personal, battery powered fan
Waist pouch or money belt for passport, money C
Letters/Pictures from Hola C

For Hola
Book of Hearts
Dress
Flip-flops
Necklace
Empty photo album
Gifts from the kids to hola
Beanie Babies for the other kids
Gifts for the households I visit

Before I go....
Give a friend and family your travel itinerary and contact info in case of an emergency.
Log on to USPS.com to stop your mail delivery.
Notify the bank in case I use my card while traveling.
Photocopy print and email my passport and/or driver's license for safekeeping.
Figure out how I can smuggle Lorna in my suitcase.

God smiles

What was the first productive thing you did this morning? I woke up early (per usual) and after my coffee and shower, I was separating Rainbow Non Pareils; pulling out orange and yellow, specifically. I thought “wow Angie, you’re a little crazy; who does this sort of thing and especially so early in the morning?” Immediately after that thought was “No, you’re not crazy. You’re patient and creative; they are your gifts “.

Then, I continued to think….
God smiles when we use the skills He has given us in creative ways to accomplish His will. He is a creator. We are his creations, created in His image, so we are creative too. Everything we do (except sin) can be done for Gods pleasure if we do it with an attitude of praise. Just like when I feel great joy seeing my (grown) children using their talents or when I see my grandchildren discovering their own talents, God loves watching us use our talents and abilities He gave to us!

All of this came to my mind as I was first telling myself (half-heartily) I was crazy and then I was reminded who I am in Christ. It not only pleases God to see us using our God-given talents and skills for good things that will bless people but He also likes telling us about it too, like He did with me this morning

So, I believe God smiles down on me and even thinks it’s fun and silly right along with me while I’m separating rainbow non pareils to decorate cookies for someone’s birthday which will eventually get me to Togo for Hola and that my friends, is wonderful all the way around.

"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives" (Psalm 37:23 NLT).

Just sayin..... Have a great day, friends

I said Yes.

I've asked myself over and over again the first couple of months as I work my way towards Hola, who am I to think I can or should even be doing this?

Who am I to think its OK to spend that much money to get there when there are needs right where I stand?

And who am I to think I can make a difference in that little girl? She lives half way around the world, for crying out loud.

It’s these thoughts that have held me back over the past 2 years.

God has reminded me of some very important facts as I asked and prayed about these questions….
I am His child. Who am I not to be doing it?
I don’t know where all the funds are going to come from. Some of it from me and hard work. Some of it from others that they've earned through hard work but all of it… All of it’s from God.
Who do I think I am to question it?

Yes, sometimes when you ask God for answers, He asks you questions in return. He wants us to use our brains, to grow and learn.  Isn't that what all Fathers want of their children?

God has given us dreams and callings on our lives. You know what yours are. You've always known.    Have you listened to your calling and applied your gifts? Our dreams and talents/gifts ebb and flow in our life. God allows us free will to choose whether we pursue what is on our heart or stand still, afraid, second guessing and doubting ourselves. I've let go of probably a thousand opportunities because of fear. I've ignored many gifts that God has given me, because I have allowed myself to doubt my abilities, not have confidence and faith in what I could do/should be doing. I've allowed others to add to my self-doubt too.

By not using opportunities and gifts God has given me, I've cheated many people out of the blessings they could have received through me. That makes me sad, now that I know the truth.

I've been learning this over the past several months through prayer, worship and study and I’m finding the more I say yes to what I’m hearing and learning, things become even more clear, the path deepens and I am able to take step after step getting closer and closer.

Also, I get confirmation that what I’m doing isn't lavish or extravagant. I’m not being wasteful or foolish. (though there are some that think so) This… To Togo for Hola… is exactly what I should be doing …at this time.

 … Last Sunday, the sermon the Pastor was preaching at the Servant Leader meeting  reaffirmed for me that what I’m doing is A-OK with God. :-D  (that smiley is of me smiling ear-to-ear)

Have you ever been to church and swear the sermon the preacher was preaching was directly to you? Well, it was. :)  Depending on the sermon topic it can either get mighty uncomfortable for you or make you want to do a “high five” with the pastor lol Last weekend was a “high five” for me. *shew*

Anyway… he preached on the very topic of following the dreams God has put on your heart. To say Yes to God. To leave fear behind. To have faith that you can accomplish what you know you are supposed to be doing, by the Grace of God. That God does not expect us to just ‘exist’. He is GOD. We are made in HIS image . We can do amazing things if we allow Him to use us. I can and should be doing good and great things while I’m living. I am here to make a difference.

Then on Tuesday Michael Jr. posted on his facebook about the same thing!

Just a little of what he said… “….My playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking” (Michael Jr - comedian with a heart for God. michaeljr.com)

And then my friend Sarah shared a quote from Jon Acuff , - something along the same lines.

“I’m not a fan of finding your purpose; I’m a fan of living with purpose. Purpose is not a final destination. You don’t have to know the finish line before you cross the starting line.” --Jon Acuff

For me, this was once again a reminder for me not to worry about where ALL the money is going to come from. I didn't start two years ago because --- " I can’t plan to go, I don’t have enough money to pay for it. How would I get it? Stop it, Angie… you cannot pay for that”

Well, Angie....just start. Don’t worry about the finish line. … $1, $2, $10… just START…and chip away… and PRAY and LISTEN and SAY YES.

I  said Yes. 

Where in the World am I going?

I’m a list person; a planner and an organizer by nature. That means as I walk out this journey I’m planning early and revising often until I’m completely confident in all the logistics and itinerary. Now that I think about it, I’ll probably never feel confident that I’ve dotted all the I’s and crossed all the T’s until after I get back home. (And then I’ll still wonder what I missed doing or I should have done differently.)

There are legal and medical things I need to add to my ever-growing list (which this blog entry is just another version of), all of which are overwhelming, time consuming and expensive.

I need a passport. I've never had one of those. I don’t even know where to get one. (yet)

A series of immunizations is required. I've read this is potentially the list: Hepatitis A&B ; Meningitis, Polio, Tetanus (got it – check!), Typhoid, Yellow Fever, malaria pills, and Cipro in case of severe diarrhea. (uuuhh.. O.o)

Apply for a visa…. Find out what a visa is, how much it will cost and where I apply. Add to the list under “*Find out”. Maybe Compassion handles this piece of the work and the expense is included in the trip cost?

Packing. What do I pack? I've read that I will need a personal first aid kit, protein bars and peanut butter, Gatorade, bottled water, (do I really pack food and drink? …or do they mean, buy some there? CAN it be bought there??) rain gear (According to weather.com, July is Togos rainy season) toilet paper (uummm O.O), antibiotic ointment, medications and hand sanitizer. (hopefully all of those last four are not needed in conjunction of each other, save the first and the last. heh :P)

Clothing? I've no clue really. Cargo pants, loose t-shirts, wrinkle free, clothes that are comfortable and will keep me cool in scorching heat? It’s been hotter in Cleveland than in Togo several weeks this summer. I did read somewhere though from another mission blog that the women only wore skirts because of some kind of cultural restriction on a woman showing her “form and lines” of her body so a maxi skirt was required to be worn at all time. I definitely need to research the cultural differences, not only what is acceptable to wear but what is ok behavior when meeting Hola? Besides just being bashful and what-not, I’d like to know is it acceptable for me to give her a hug and such things as this. It will be culture shock for me and her too. I need prayer for minimal and no more than minor, cultural blunders. ;)

I don’t know what the accommodations will be yet. (hotel? ) I don’t know how much laundering I can do….or even how much electricity will be available. All the unknowns. This is why I have to think of this stuff early, often and prepare. Yes? Yes. I do know I’ll have a roomie, unless I want to pay extra for a private room. That’d be a, no even though I’m also a shy person and would definetly prefer a private room. People usually don’t believe me when I say that I'm shy but it’s true. It’s very difficult for me to meet new people and I’m also a private person. Weird that I say that when I’m blogging my heart out and sharing it with the world. Ha. Did I mention I’m an odd duck, too? ;) So all the people I will be meeting, eating meals with, even sharing a room with, is stretching me. (Add this to ‘the list’ category: “*Growing”.)

At one point, I realized I haven’t seen my birth certificate in a very long time. I thought I had a general idea of where I should look (with all my other ‘legal papers’) but when I did it wasn't there. So, I put it on the back burner of my mind for a few weeks. I’d remember at the most odd times that I needed to add it to ‘the list’: “*Look for*….while sitting at a red light or in the middle of a meeting at work. (Never at home, where if I thought of it, I could actually go look for it!)

And…. this may not make sense in this blog post but bear with me…. Out of nowhere, in the above same time frame, I remembered how much I liked the movie Aeon Flux and that I hadn’t seen it in a long time - it disappeared from my selection of DVDs a very long time ago (too).

And….on an impulse one day I decided to start cleaning out my nightstand, which is not something I had thought of doing in a very long time. (Still with me? Trust me, this is all going somewhere!)

Well, upon taking out all the junk out of the top drawer, what did I find? Yep, you might have guessed…. The Aeon Flux movie….AND the birth certificates right with the movie!

I love how God helps us and guide us….even with the little things. :) There is nothing too big or…even too small! God loves us and just as I would want to help my kids or grand-kids figure something out, God does the same for His children. (even help me find my birth certificate prompting me to check out the Aeon Flux movie... in a drawer that I never go in :))

You know though, more than all of the above to-do’s, find outs and look for’s ….

....Because I know its going to be very uncomfortable and exhausting physically and emotionally, more often than not, I need to prepare my heart for this most of all. This isn't a business trip or a luxury vacation. This is a trip in the name of Jesus Christ. I need to prepare spiritually. My desire is to stay strong in the LORDS will no matter how tired I get trying to figuring out how to raise the funds or how tired I get physically while I'm there. My heart needs to stay wide open to the will of the Spirit no matter how sad it becomes while there, too. I need to keep aware of the blessings all around me here, that are happening right now no matter how difficult it is right now, and also to the blessings waiting to be received at the time when Hola and I meet. I pray that I will be a blessing to those who encounter me, that God’s light shines straight through me and directly into the hearts of everyone I meet.

I can't wait to meet her and her family!!

"Same kind of different as me"

The difference between me and my family and Hola and her family is that we were born in a different land. I don't know why some people are born in the land of plenty and others are not. I don't know why I was born in America and she in Africa. Gods ways and purposes are far too great for me to ever understand (while on this side of eternity) but I do know His plan is perfect for me and Hola.

I believe God matches and gently (and sometimes not so gently) steers us towards specific people that we should interact with. I believe its mainly to help each other and learn something from each other, in some way. I believe God keeps us together long enough for something to be imparted into each of our lives. Looking back I know I was on a direct path to Hola and when I finally listened to what I knew God was asking of me, He then placed her right in my lap.

The world is huge to humans. To God, it’s the size of a piece of dust. To God, Hola lives next door to me. To God, Hola is not only my neighbor but my family.

I want Hola to know when we meet, that even though we live 5503 miles apart on this beautiful planet, we are the same. We both have needs and desires. We both wake up the same way in the morning. We both look up at the same moon at night time. We both can and will have struggles and broken hearts. We both cry the same tears and feel great happiness and joy. We both give love and receive love.

I want her to know as she goes all through life that her place, where she is on earth, doesn't define her. Her struggles do not and will not define her. By Gods Grace, we both can persevere in anything we set our minds to.

I'm going to tell her in person, that it was hard work for me to get there to her. I'm going to help her understand that I beat the odds! That it is absolutely absurd for me to have made it all the way to Africa to hold her hand. I'm going to look into her little face and tell her that if we pray every day, work hard, have faith and have love for Jesus and all Gods people that we can do amazing things. I'm going to tell her that we are both children of God. That He is our Abba Father. That He is with us every step of the way and her life and all she does through her life matters and is very important to me and to God.

I know I can say all of these things to her in a letter. I probably will remind her of these things through the years but the first time, I'm to tell her in person. That is what I'm supposed to do.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

We are the same kind of different.

“I used to spend a lotta time worryin that I was different from other people, even from other homeless folks. Then, after I met Miss Debbie and Mr. Ron, I worried that I was so different from them that we wadn't ever gon' have no kind a' future. But I found out everybody's different - the same kind of different as me. We're all just regular folks walkin down the road God done set in front of us. The truth about it is, whether we is rich or poor or somethin in between, this earth ain't no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless - just workin our way toward home.”
― Denver Moore, Same Kind of Different as Me


Are you going to be part of the plan? Are you going to be a piece of the puzzle that helps get me to Hola? Click the GoFundMe link to the right of this page and help me get on that plane.