"Everything seems impossible until it gets done"

I'm feeling a little beat up today. It's been a difficult week and most of today,worse than the past two. I'm finally sitting down for the evening and of course Hola and her family came to my mind. I feel ashamed for feeling sorry for myself (and yes, I have been feeling sorry for myself) because I've had less than a normal day and had to tackle some frustrating issues with my car, among other things.

Hola does not have running water or electricity. The floor of her house (hut?) is dirt, the walls mud and the roof thatched. Her father is 'sometimes' employed as a carpenter and the average person there makes less than $33 a month. Thats a dollar a day for Hola, her little sister and Dad to live on. As far as I am aware, they do not own a car and Hola walks quite a distance for a little girl just to get to her student center.

I have been put in my place. Yes, my family and I struggle all the time. (more ways than I care to get into here) but even still we are so very blessed compared to so much of the world. We have our own homes with nice things filling the inside. We have running water, electricity, food and jobs to pay for it. We have good health...and when we dont, we can (for the most part) easily go to the doctor and get the treatment needed to get better. Hola's mother died from Typhoid fever - which is a bacteria infection caught through unclean water and food. I don't know why she wasn't treated for the sickness but she could have been saved. When I heard about Hola's mother I contacted Compassion immediately because I read that it can be contagious without treatment. Compassion reassured me that because of my support and Hola being a part of Compassion, she would receive any medical care needed to give her better chances of preventing this from happening to her. I inquired if I could also sponsor her little sister too. Compassion said only one child is allowed to be sponsored per family. :/ They did say when I send extra money it is shared with the entire family unless I specifically say its a gift for Hola only. I worry about her often but even more so after her mom passed away. Every little girl needs their mommy :(

Hmm.. *sigh* anyway, I've sort of just rambled on a little bit here but I guess I just want to say that though I struggle and get frustrated and sad sometimes, I have to remember to keep my chin up... because all the world struggles on one level or another. All are blessed also, on one level or another. And.... I am surely blessed.

I know I cant take care of the world but I'm so very thankful God has allowed me be part of Hola's life; participating in her health care, education, activities (choir!!, field trips :)) learning about Jesus and more.

No matter who or where in the world, we all need a little help and we all need to know someone is on our side, rooting for us. I get a little lump in my throat every time I think about the moment I finally get to meet her....and her little sister.

I will get there to her. Failing at this is not an option.

Just your every-day-run-of-the-mill, Grandma. O.o

That runs off to Africa to bring hope to one specific little girl.

This morning I was thinking about how it’s kind of ridiculous for me to be traipsing off to Africa. Sure maybe when I was 20 something but at 47 and not so healthy. Really, Angie? Not that my 20’s really would have been a better time because I was a very poor struggling single mom, but at least I had my age and good health on my side then.

I also thought about, how it was actually a little crazy for me to even sponsor Hola in the first place. I knew that if I started the commitment with her I would never allow myself to stop sponsoring her until she aged out of the program. I knew that it was going to be a good 15 yr commitment. That wasn’t an easy choice to make. I am not rich. I’m basically scrapping the bottom of the barrel of middle class and I live paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes the ends don’t even meet. Until just recently, my car was held together with duct-tape for the past 3 yrs. O.O (Thanks again, Meg and Ronny for the new front fender!) In order to sponsor Hola I knew I had to give something up. So, I gave up the monthly luxury of cable TV and I send that money to Hola. I knew God was calling me to sponsorship and He pointed me directly to Hola. I do what I have to do to get my payment to Compassion. I made the decision to respond to what God asked me to do and I’ve never regretted it.

As I thought of who I am and what I’m embarking on, I was instantly reminded of Sarah (Abraham's wife) and the absurdity of an infertile 90 year old lady having a baby. She laughed in disbelief. (Genesis 21:5-7)

I kind of laugh too, when I think about this journey I’m on. As all these thoughts were going through my head this morning, I was reminded that I don’t get to choose what God calls me to do. I do however, get to choose if I respond to it or not. (God’s Grace from start to finish!)

I didn’t think of Sarah because she had a choice of being pregnant or not. (Because obviously, she did not have a choice) When she came to mind it was because of the absurdity of it. God can and DOES choose to do crazy things through the most unexpected people. He uses the weak, insignificant and unlikely and uses them to do the most amazing things. (Corinthians 1:26-31)

To spend time with Hola is going to be a glorious time. The ridiculousness of it all, the getting there and how hard it will be while there, not so much. I know the blessings gained from all of it will be priceless . I’m choosing to respond.

So, here goes a not-so-healthy-pushing 50 yr old-grandma, striving to reach the other side of the world to hug a child. To give her a hope and a confidence that she can carry throughout her life, allowing her to know that anything can be accomplished, Insha'Allah. (God willing.)

Because if I, of all people, can make it all the way to Africa, you have to know God made that happen!

(All of this was in my head during the 10 min walk from the parking lot into the office this morning. Don’t even get me started on writing about what I was thinking from the time I woke up until I got to the parking lot! :))
http://www.gofundme.com/Hola-in-Togo